Dear John…
Dear Local Government...
Life isn’t easy. Sometimes we could all do with a bit of advice to get us through the day, whether it’s deciding what colour tie to wear or what jobs to apply for. Other times we just need to tell someone what we are thinking to get it off our chest.
So, with little further ado, here are some short ‘dear john’ style messages for you to enjoy. Happy Friday!
- Dear Grant Shapps,
- On your measure I earn more than the Prime Minister
- Sincerely, David Cameron
- Dear Lambeth,
- You paid for frivolous posters so I’m not paying my tax bill,
- Sincerely, budget consultee
- Dear resident,
- At least make the effort to learn my name
- Sincerely, councillor
- Dear councillor,
- The three years out of four when there aren’t elections still count on the calendar
- Sincerely, resident
- Dear legal services,
- I didn’t want ten pages of waffle; Am I breaking the law: YES or NO?!?
- Sincerely, front line worker
- Dear Grant Shapps,
- When you said councils were free to do anything we wanted, that was a lie wasn’t it
- Sincerely, Ringo Starr’s old house
- Dear DCLG,
- Until you provide adult social care, children’s care, street cleaning and parks for the rest of the civil service I refuse to accept your authority
- Sincerely, local government
- Dear 2006,
- Where’s all our money gone?!
- Sincerely, 2011
- Dear Eric Pickles,
- Have you seen my pies anywhere?
- Sincerely, Hungry man
- Dear Nick Clegg,
- The vertebrate spine or spinal column.
- Sincerely, Definition of Backbone
- Dear Students,
- Lynx is not a substitute for washing
- Sincerely, a commuter
- Dear job security,
- It was nice knowing you.
- Sincerely, a Public Sector Worker
- Dear Eric Pickles,
- I too like putting fingers in lots of pies.
- Sincerely, a leper
- Dear Local Government,
- F**k you!!!
- Sincerely, Eric Pickles
- Dear Bankers,
- Be warned, I’ll be back!
- Sincerely, schadenfreude
- Dear public,
- Whatever.
- Sincerely, a lazy Council worker
Please do add your own suggestions below!
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Tags: eric pickles, friday funny, Grant Shapps
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January 29, 2011 at 12:10 am
[…] subject of letter writing has also been taken up by the We Love Local Government […]
January 29, 2011 at 6:26 am
[…] subject of letter writing has also been taken up by the We Love Local Government […]
January 31, 2011 at 1:25 am
[…] subject of letter writing has also been taken up by the We Love Local Government […]
February 4, 2011 at 7:54 am
[…] week we published some local government themed Dear John letters. They were pretty well received and then a clever reader sent us a collection of Hanzel and Gretel […]
February 9, 2011 at 2:11 am
*chortle*
Thank you for the wednesday post-lunch amusement. Trying to work out who to forward this to now…
December 23, 2011 at 7:00 am
[…] words: ‘you can’t do that; if you do a child might die’ and picked our local government ‘Dear John’ letters featuring such classics as: Dear resident, At least make the effort to learn my name […]
January 10, 2012 at 5:35 pm
“The three years out of four when there aren’t elections” ???
There are elections EVERY B****Y YEAR! and it’s exhausting. I’d love to only have elections every four years and have less of the “oh no! if we do this we’ll lose next year!” short termism.
April 25, 2013 at 11:07 am
[…] to make you smile, the ever excellent We Love Local Government has devised some v amusing letters that really ought to be sent (and probably are but in […]