This post is urgent
To: Reader, Readers, Skimmers, Non-readers
CC: My boss; your boss; Finance; HR
BCC: My colleagues who I need to know that I am taking this seriously
Subject: URGENT: Action needed!!!
It has come to our attention that readers of this blog have NOT been reading the blog early enough in the morning. To make matters worse it has been reported to me that some readers of the blog have not been reading the blog consistently.
I have also heard of some readers who only skim read the posts.
This is obviously NOT acceptable and I write to you asking for this to be rectified straight away!!!
As such, I expect an immediate response from all of you covering the following points:
- WHAT YOU WILL DO TO RECTIFY THE SITUATION
- BY WHEN
I should also remind you of comments made in previous communications on this topic. As the boss has said recently:
‘Please enjoy today’s post.’
I am not going to report back to my boss and tell him/her/it that this has NOT been fixed by each and every one of you!!!
<Insert name of defenceless admin officer> Localgov: I would like to remind you that you are meant to be RESPONSIBLE for this issue. Please inform all readers as to their duties regarding this. I also expect a full report from you accompanying a new procedure manual for monitoring the reading habits of the readers.
ALL: Let me REASSERT that I expect this situation to be fixed within the next <Insert random timescale> and will not accept any excuses.
IF YOU DO NOT FIX THIS I WILL BE FORCED TO ESCLATE THIS TO YOUR BOSS’S, BOSS’s, BOSS’s BOSS!!!
PS. This is obviously not that urgent or I would have picked up the phone or come and seen you in person. But I am angry, running out of the door and won’t have a chance to bug you about this for at least four days and I needed to make everyone in the organisation know that I am taking this very seriously indeed.
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