Archive for March 2, 2011

It’s not going to end well

March 2, 2011

Giving myself a hard time; let's hope the interview is easier

I’ve got my job interview today.

I’m applying for my own job and it’s a mighty weird experience and prompts many questions.

Last week I sat down to prepare my job application.

How much to include from my previous jobs; how much do I need from the current role? How can I capture what I’ve been doing for the past few years without making it sound twee? You can’t exaggerate (the people on the interview panel have been managing you for the past few years) but how to make a case for yourself? Probably best not mention that you write a blog in ‘examples of written communication’ section.

The application was completed and submitted; more questions.

Will the form be the focus of the interview? Will people be trying to rip apart my work of the past few years? Have I made mistakes I’m not aware of? Have I worked hard enough? Did I deliver to a high enough standard? Do others believe I did well enough? If not, why has no-one told me? Are my appraisals enough to get me by or is the interview more important? What if I mess up?

I sit down with the colleagues I’m competing with. We’re all nervous but displaying a sort of gallows humour.

What if I get the job? Will I be happy? What about the colleagues who don’t get the job? Is it wrong to want them to make a mistake? I actually don’t; I like them all, they’re all good at their job and deserve to stay. But I deserve it more right? Will I feel guilty if I’m the survivor? What if I’m asked who else I think deserves to stay? I have my feelings on the issue but it’d be disloyal right?

And what about the other jobs in the structure? Is there the chance for a promotion? Do I even want a promotion? Will I be more vulnerable in twelve months time if I do? Is it going to make it less likely that I’ll get my own job if I’m also looking at other roles? What’s my internal insurance policy?

And that’s before the interview.

More questions still to come, and these might just matter more.