Archive for January 19, 2011

Jumping ship

January 19, 2011

All aboard the good ship Local Government

I LOVE how creative our readers are. Today’s guest post is one beautiful extended maritime metaphor and I think its great!

I boarded my Local Government vessel several years ago filled with optimism for a long and trouble free voyage. Starting as a lowly deckhand, I had aspirations of becoming a trusty midshipman. The kind of middle ranking officer, that would be dependable in troubled seas and one day given command of a boarding party to capture a marauding Pirate Ship and win pride and bounty for my Captain.

To be honest, looking back the seas were a little choppier than expected, the food was edible (though riddled with maggots) and I still find myself scrubbing the decks and manning the oars but for a little forays up to the Crows Nest. It’s fair to the say that the ship has had a few leaks, the timbers are past their best and it’s had to be patched up on several occasions, with some fairly poor craftmanship. It is none the less seaworthy.

My ship however is now under attack, by a very large vessel flying the colours of the current Conservative Government and an Eric Pickles size hole (which is very large indeed) has been left in the hull following a recent exchange of fire. The crew has begun indiscriminately casting off cargo over the sides, in a desperate attempt to raise the ship high enough above the waterline and outrun the immediate danger. Despite desperate attempts, we are sinking.