I feel the need for, well, something or other
I sometimes find it hard to get started in the first week or so of January. After a week or two of festivities, time spent indoors with friends and family and after playing with lots of new toys, for some reason commuting into the office and sitting behind a desk for seven hours doesn’t really float my boat.
I’m not alone in this apparently, as most of my colleagues are feeling the same. There is work to do, but none of it feels particularly important (even if in fact it is). I’m being distracted by interesting conversations (many of which I instigate) and even found myself spending almost an hour exploring quora.com (which is an excellent new ‘next-big-thing’ by the way).
I’m wondering how much of this though is really due to the return to work and how much is just endemic in the local government system right now.
I enjoy my job, really I do. I know it might seem to be a non-job sometimes, but I get to engage with local people and really make them not only have a voice but feel as if they have a voice, which is a pretty big distinction. I’m not saying that if I won a few million quid I would still turn up for work the next day, but equally I’m not stuck in a rut or drinking myself into oblivion whilst asking whatever poor sap is unlucky enough to find themselves near me what I am doing with my life.
I just don’t feel as if there is any push at the moment though to do anything spectacular. I’ve been doing roughly the same role for a number of years now, and rarely come across something I’ve not tackled before. There are only so many times you can run the same project over and over again before you stop listening to yourself explaining it to the next person. In fact, recently I’ve found I can switch off in meetings not only when I’m listening to other people but when I’m actually speaking myself, shutting my creative self off into a corner and allowing it to run free whilst the more responsible portion (admittedly it’s a far smaller portion) churns out the same lines to a different person.
To put it simply and to the soundtrack of Top Gun, I’ve lost that loving feeling.
I’m sure I’ll get it back eventually. As regular readers of this blog will know, I’m part of a restructure at the minute (aren’t we all) which is going through its final phases, and within a few weeks I’ll know one way or another what my future is. After that I’ll certainly have more motivation, either to step into a new role and make it my own or to find a job more than quickly.
I just despise not being able to approach each day chomping at the bit, finding new challenges and discovering opportunities that others might have missed. Mrs Localgov often speaks about a twinkle in the eye that shows that I’m on form and enjoying things which has dimmed recently – I want that back.
Maybe I just need to take a leaf out of Mary Poppins’ book, and find the game in the chore. I’m not talking about inserting song titles into reports or presentations (although come to think of it that would be fun), more seeing if I can do something mundane in a more interesting way. Taking a task that has always been a pain and challenging myself to find a better way of doing it, or putting together a load of formulae on a spreadsheet to automatically churn out some data that’s always a time drain.
Of course, I could always spend it updating my CV, which depending on how the next week or two go might be a good use of my time after all!