Local Government Christmas Carols


Tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy

In what has become a tradition (well, a tradition of one year and a bit) today is the release of our much anticipated Local Government Christmas Carols.

Please do enjoy them and if you can think of any better ones why not write them below, tweet us at @welovelocalgov (#localgovcarols) or drop us an e-mail at: welovelocalgovernment@gmail.com

Twelve Days of Christmas

On the Twelfth day of Christmas Local Government gave to me:

Twelve waste operatives collecting
Eleven social workers helping
Ten children officers protecting
Nine housing officers housing
Eight carers caring
Seven librarians inspiring
Six adult educators teaching
Five non jobs
Four planners planning
Three road engineers rebuilding
Two managers managing
And a Chief Executive for this year at least

Away in a Manger

Away with the fairies, no cash for our work,
The DCLG say no fight they will shirk.
The stars in loc’l gov’nment will all do their best,
To deliver what’s needed and still do the rest.

The papers are screaming ‘bout all that we waste,
But those who know better simply see their haste.
I love local government and the effort they make,
And the chance to say thank you is one that I’ll take.

O come all ye faithful

O come, all ye officers,
Pension-less and stress-ed.
O come ye, O come ye to protest march.
Come and picket them,
Fighting for our pittances;
O you can stick your gold plate,
O you can shove your gold plate,
O ram that golden plated comment, right up your <censor>

We three kings

We three kings of localgov are
Bearing cuts, aspersions we cast.
Waste and slander, we demand more
Buck up your act real fast.

O DCLG, defend with might,
The taxpayer’s and their bin collection rights,
Forget to defend and simply attack,
Your charges’ work; they can’t be right.

Good King Wencelas

Mr Dilnot last looked out
On our social care system
When the cuts lay round and ‘bout
And the needs were rising

Brightly was that re-port praised
For long term thought and planning
Then the Gov-ment came on board
And progress was withdrawn

Silent Night

Scrutiny Night, Holy Night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Scrutiny Chair and Officer
Democracy starts to be enacted
Scrutinise until you find the fault
Scrutinise until you find the fault

We three kings

We three Officers of undistinguished ethnicity,
Bearing work for contracts
Bins and swimming pools, social care and benefits
We no longer do but contract out to others to complete

Jingle Bells

Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride on a one horse open sleigh

FoI Request: ‘Can the council tell me how many licenses have been granted for one horse open sleighs, what the processing time was for each license and what quota of fun was had by each licensee?’

Once in Royal Davids City

Once in royal Davids city,
Stood a lowly cattle shed,
Where a mother laid her Baby,
In a manger for His bed:

Mary then left that location and George Clark from Channel 4 added it to his empty homes database

We wish you a merry Christmas

We wish you a Winterval,
We wish you a Winterval,
We wish you a Winterval,
And a happy financial year!

Welovelocalgovernment is a blog written by UK local government officers. If you have a piece you’d like to submit or any comments you’d like to make please drop us a line at: welovelocalgovernment@gmail.com

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3 Comments on “Local Government Christmas Carols”

  1. Rhys Thomas. Says:

    Bah, Slumbug!

  2. localgov Says:

    I still think one of the funniest ones suggested this year was:

    “Last Christmas, I gave LG my heart,
    But the very next day, Eric Pickles took it away and stamped on it, then spat on it and threw it out for weekly bin collection.”


  3. [...] time is always a lot of fun, and we managed to have some with a little caroling wordplay (and a bit more for good luck)and some local government jokes.  We nabbed Eric Pickles Christmas letter [...]


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